Passing On America's Got Talent

At about this time last year, I auditioned for America’s Got Talent and did not make it past the first round.

I had experienced mixed feelings about even doing it—at this point in my life--but one of David’s best buddies, after having heard me sing, told me that I should audition for it. So, David, our friend, Donna, and I made a day of it.

David was quite disappointed, at first. But by the time we got to the car, he was telling me to try again this year. :)

I have not mentioned it to him, yet, but I did receive an email inviting me to audition again and the try outs are this week.

The good news is that I have no desire to give it another shot. None. I’d rather sing to David every night. :)

Going back to the whole “grass is green” theme of my blog—I just feel like life turned out—in a way—that best fits me. "Thank you, God."

Ever since I began singing solos—people have said things like, “Why aren’t you out there singing to more people? If I had your voice, I would be!” “You sound like Joni Mitchell…or Sheena Easton…or Celine Dion…or…” “You could make it big!” “You could be famous!”

Well, fame has never been interesting to me.

Do you know what is?
_When we are true to ourselves and kind and loving towards others
_When we are able to make it through tough times and create positive lives, anyway
_When we are right in the midst of challenging times and remain a loving person, and
_When we share our gifts and use our lives for good…I find all of these interesting! :)

Doing what I love to do and being able to support myself financially has definitely been appealing to me. And at times singing was my favorite thing to do, but I never felt any need for fame, or a desire to be famous. And since I was on my own at age 18, I also had no desire to be a starving artist—so, I made sure I finished college and graduate school—so that I’d be set, either way.

Meanwhile, I’ve been blessed to earn more money through singing than social work some years—and I’ve experienced an abundance of unique and fun singing opportunities.

Interestingly, one time I saw Celine being interviewed—and someone commented about how wonderful it must be for her little boy—to have Celine sing to him all the time—and surprisingly she shared that her son—who is about David’s age—did not like it when she sung to him.

I felt some sadness for her at that moment and extremely grateful that David always asks me to sing to him. He knows all the words to the songs on my CD and every night—whether he is sleeping down here—or upstairs—he needs me to sing my songs to him. And the few nights that I’ve not been available to sing to him—as he fell off to sleep—he put his walkman on—and listened to my CD.

Actually, the other night, my friend Marjorie, some friends from work (including the one I hugged when I was initially interviewed for my present job ;)) and I went to see Dr. Wayne Dyer and when I got home, David was already asleep. I gave him a snuggle and carefully took the ear phones off his ears. The next morning he told me the specific song he fell asleep to. Is that not the sweetest thing? I just love him so much and cannot get over how incredibly blessed I am sometimes.

Okay, so getting back to America’s Got Talent. We did watch the show last year from the top 20 on down—and enjoyed all the acts tremendously. David would comment, at times, about how I could sing a particular song better than a vocalist—and how he could not believe that they made it through and I didn’t, etc., (Yes, he is my greatest fan. :)) but I never felt like I wished I was there. Actually, I was more in touch with how happy I was that I was snuggled up in bed watching. :)

I am not made to get on a stage and put my singing and myself out there in that kind of way…and I no longer have a life drama to report—like many of the contestants do. I’m pretty boring. :)

Those of you who are close to me know that I have had my share of painful experiences in life, for sure, as do we all, but at this point in time “Living Happy Joyous & Free” is what I’m all about. Absolutely!

So, I would choose my every day, average, amazingly green life over Celine’s any day. It fits me well. “Thank you, God.”

At times I hear people say things that reflect the idea of --"Be careful what you pray for....You may get it!" or "I have shed more tears over answered prayers," etc. and that is why I like adding "Thy Will Be Done" to any thought or prayer. I know that God has the best in mind for me and am given signs of this all the time.

So, let's go out there, today, and do what we love and share our talents--right where we are! :)

With Love,
Kathryn/Kathy

2009 is Divine and Your Year to Shine! :)

Can you feel it?
Do you see how YOU actually are a spark of the Divine?
A beautiful child of God…a precious soul…a being of light…an amazing, loveable expression of God’s Love, creativity and beauty….Yes! That is who YOU truly are.

Just take a moment—if so inspired—and close your eyes and really breathe that in.
Get in touch with who you really are.

And I hope that you and I stay aware of who we really are lots this year and allow our love and light to shine oh so brightly! When it does—it uplifts us all! :)

And if you ever are having one of those moments....and you need me to tell you how beautiful you are—just say the word. I can do that! :)

So, Peter and Kelly’s visit for Christmas was wonderful and so much fun.

Christmas Eve we hung out a bit, baked cookies for Santa, and then David had us all write him a letter. :) We watched the DVD from Peter and Kelly’s wedding—(which of course made me cry a bit)—and enjoyed remembering how amazing it was. David’s commentary made us laugh as well. Out of the mouths of 8 year olds! :)

David had me up at 1:40 am to see if Santa had come….and sure enough he had! :)

Thankfully, we fell back to sleep until 5:30 and then tip toed out to the living room, sang Happy Birthday to Baby Jesus, put him in his manger, and checked our stockings!

Once everyone was up—we opened gifts-- and believe it or not--a sock monkey was clearly the present that David got most excited about! :) He is so darn cute.

When Mom and Dad arrived—we did our Goofy Grab Bag exchange, which always brings us lots of laughs.

It was incredibly special to have Mom and Dad here because--though they live only an hour away-- they have not visited us in over a year—due to mom’s pain and medical issues. It was a real treat!

Meghan, Hal, Julia, Ryan and Ava were out East—but luckily they sent photos over the internet and we got to connect by phone. They've put in their request for all of us to join them in Boston for Christmas next year....and I asked if we could celebrate Christmas in October or November! :)

After a yummalicious dinner, we had lots of laughter as we played a new game—Pictionary Man— and then watched Elf. (Oh my gosh! David and I can watch this movie any time of the year and laugh on and on at Elf's innocence and way of being.)

I feel extremely blessed whenever I am with my family. Every one of them is such a good person and I just love them so much. (Thank You, God! And thank you everyone in my family for being who you are!) Having time to be with them and play together is my favorite present ever! :)

Over the next couple of days we got to see a couple of movies, take a walk at the ocean, play at Boomers (lazer tag, go karts, and video games) and eat at Islands.

New Years Eve David, Werner and I did our yearly tradition of going to Legoland and having a big party there. They bring in a band and do the fireworks for the kids—just after sunset. This year we invited David’s Hip Hop duet partner, Taryn, and her parents-- and it was even more fun!

Then we went out for sushi and talked about our favorite 2008 moments and dreamt out loud about what we wanted to see happen in our lives in 2009.

When we got home we caught New York City bringing in the new year and I felt complete! :) But for the first time David asked that we stay up until midnight.

At 11:55--as he lay asleep next to me--I sat him up and tried to get him to wake-up! :) And at 12:00 I was still trying to wake him so that we could celebrate! He--with eyes half closed--said...."Yeah, Happy New Year..." and was back off to sleep! :) He barely remembered this in the morning!

New Years Day was gorgeous, here in CA—so, I did another beloved, yearly tradition—and ran 3 miles at the beach. Then I sat in the sand, enjoyed the sunshine, beauty, and the sound of the waves and wrote to God about all that I am grateful for. I also noted some things I’d like to accomplish in the coming year.

It’s kind of neat because since I got my overeating thing worked out—about 12 years ago—I can actually stick with my intentions for the year—when I choose to make them. Some years I don’t feel inspired around making any goals, but this year I had a few in mind. And so far, so good! YAY! "Thank You, God!" But there’s no pressure. The things I noted, I want to do and/or be.

So, here’s a belated “HAPPY 2009 ~ A DIVINE YEAR TO SHINE” to you! :)

Know that you are loved and that I am pulling for you always!
Kathryn/Kathy