"I'm sorry, Paula."

I just read such a sad story about a 30 year old woman, named Paula, who took her life near Paula Abdul’s home, and watched a clip of when she auditioned for American Idol in 2006.

As I watched I apologized, periodically, to her soul/spirit—“I’m sorry, Honey—for whatever pain led you to this.”

She was beautiful to me—creative—and excited at a chance to share herself, her voice, her fashion sense, her artwork—which was quite good.

I could just imagine her as a child—so full of life and limitless possibilities….I can’t even imagine what her family is going through at this moment.

And as I watched Paula, Simon and Randy react to her—I just wondered why we ever have to be mean to others.

I get the disagreeing and seeing things differently and trying to express that to each other. I understand that sometimes things don’t come out in a pretty way. I understand being grumpy and impatient and saying things in anger and apologizing later. But to be mean to others….it’s just not necessary….it’s very sad.

In fact—David was targeted this summer a couple of times by older kids—and it was very upsetting. It was worked out—and he handled himself so well in both situations—but in one incident I did not feel safe sending him off to summer camp the next day and debated calling in to work.

When I told the camp counselor about what he said some older kids did to him the previous day—“Thank you, God”-- she took it very seriously and questioned each child privately and sure enough his story held up. The counselor kept me up to date throughout the day and there were serious consequences given to the children. I felt safe in going to work and believed that the counselors were going to be watching the kids more closely.

That same day, though, the main counselor told me that David—a first grader—soon to be second grader-- had been standing up to the 4th and 5th graders who were picking on special needs kids throughout the summer—and as a result he was getting picked on as well. She revealed that she had heard him say on several occasions to these kids, “Stop it. It’s not okay to treat others this way.”

I got tears in my eyes—feeling so proud of the person he chooses to be already. I was not that brave at 7. I was kind to other kids--but I sure didn't stand up to bullies.

But you see—David already knows who we are—and he remembers it much of the time.

There is this extraordinary book, The Little Soul and The Sun, written by Neale Donald Walsch and it is one of David’s favorite books.

The basic idea behind it—is that we are all beautiful light beings—or souls—and we understand that when we get to earth that we are going to forget this and get into our little ego dramas. But before we come down here, we create agreements with each other—and in this particular story—one little soul tells God that he wants to have the experience of forgiveness. Another little soul offers to help him with this--but it will require that she do something to him that will hurt him in someway—so that he has the opportunity to forgive her. And she agrees—but asks him to try to remember that she is really still a beautiful light being—even in the midst of whatever it is that she is doing. He promises to do this.

Well, a couple of days after we first read this book—he was probably 5 at the time—David came home and said, “Momma! (Insert the name of a little boy here_______) is doing a really good job! When I get to Heaven I’m going to tell him!” I asked him what he meant and he told me about a boy who was being really mean to others—and added that he was remembering that this boy was still really a good soul underneath all of that.

I was like—“WOW! Amazing!”

Then another time when boys were teasing someone with autism at his after school program—David said to this older boy, again, “Do you know who he is?” And the boy said—“A big loser?” And David went on to explain to him that he was a beautiful soul, etc. :)

Can’t even imagine what this boy was thinking at that moment….but I just embraced David and laughed at how bold he is--thanking him.

So, if a 5 or 7 year old can remember who we really are---so can I. :)

And though I absolutely don’t do it perfectly—(Just ask David!:)) I do get back to this consciousness as quickly as I can during the day.

Sometimes people are doing a really good acting job :) and it’s hard to remember that they are beautiful children of God—amazing souls and light beings.

But when I stay close to God and get centered—I see them more clearly. And when I treat them like they are a beautiful soul—it’s like a part of them wakes up and remembers too—and they step into this.

I know that you know what I mean—you beautiful soul, you! :)

Thank you for all the times you choose to be kind and loving. It uplifts us all.

With Love,
Kathy